1st Step to Self-Acceptance
Think of something you did in the past. Revisit an event or a period in your life where you now feel that you have made a mistake or have done something you now regret. While thinking about it, try to introduce a new idea, tell yourself – I did the best I could AT THE TIME.
You did best you could at that time and this is the truth. Maybe at that time, you did give 100 percent of your effort but something still just did not work out. The situation was out of your control.
You can also reframe this idea to this – I did what I thought was right AT THAT TIME. We are constantly changing and growing, and even if now, you would absolutely choose a different outcome or would make a different decision in the same situation, then it was all you knew. You had a different perspective; you were younger and not as wise as you are now. You thought you knew it all or at least you thought you were doing the right thing.
Embrace this perspective now. There is no reason to blame yourself or regret your decisions. You have done the best you could at that time. Sure, you know it was wrong now, but you cannot change it. Accept your mistakes in the past by noticing and realizing that you were somebody else back then. You are not that person anymore.
2nd Step to Self-Acceptance
Know that perfection is not your goal. The goal in life is not to avoid mistakes or failures. Life is not perfect and none of us are born perfect, therefore you simply cannot expect that from yourself.
We all have a different perspective as to what our lives should look like and as to what it should entail. However, to my experience, the beauty lies in imperfection. Failures and mistakes are what sprout new growth. These experiences are what make us better human beings. If you are trying to be perfect all the time, how can you accept your mistakes that are just natural to life? How can you practice self-acceptance if every time you wire of the path of perfection you are that much harder on yourself? Acknowledge that perfection is not the goal; acknowledge that life is imperfect in itself. Know that there is going to be mistakes and plenty of hard times ahead no matter how much you prepare. And that’s ok! Simply know that that is how life is supposed to be. Because if you live with the expectation that life and you should be perfect, you simply are setting yourself for a disappointment.
3rd Step to Self-Acceptance
Think about the things you can change right away in order to feel more satisfied and happy with your life and with your current situation. Look for ways to make yourself feel better straight away. What would you change today? Look in the mirror and think, maybe it is as simple as changing what you are wearing? Or, maybe you would feel better if you changed your hairstyle?
It can also be something that would make you feel more connected and loved. Maybe you haven’t spoken to your family for a really long time? Give them a call!
Look for the things you are dissatisfied with at the moment and introduce action in order to solve it. The very first step to minimize dissatisfaction in life is to have an action plan! Note that there are problems, but more importantly – note that there are things we can do about them. Know that you have the power to solve these problems. Believing in it will make you much more self-accepting.
So, if there are quick and easy things you can do – do them right now. If your action plan is a long term – write it down and implement it systematically.
4th Step to Self-Acceptance
Look for positive in your past and in your current situation. We all know that it is so much easier to notice all that is negative. In fact, all of us tend to focus our attention on negativity. Look at what’s on our news – negative news sell! However, if you really think, there must be a lot of good around you as well as in your past. Think about the time when you have faced a difficult problem or times where you were really proud of yourself. Alternatively, maybe a moment when you were truly happy.
In order to be more self-accepting is to realize that you have made it really far. Realizing that you have done things in your life that make you worthy of love, worthy of others accepting you and worthy of YOU accepting you. You should realize deep within your own being that you are worthy TO BE HERE. That you are WORTHY TO BE LOVED BY YOU!
5th Step to Self-Acceptance
You are unique. Think about all the unique ways you express yourself. Think that there is no one else like you in the entire universe. You have been given your body, mind, and soul and it is like no one else’s! Think about what makes you unique. What is something you can do or offer to this world? What is something that nobody else has but you? Is there some strange talent that you have? What do you really like about yourself?
Please note, that answers to these questions can be really simple. We do not have to play the comparison game. For example, you and your friend both play the guitar. You might think that your friend plays the guitar better than you do. However, this is not the perspective you want to adopt. Think of this – you play the guitar differently than your friend does. You do not have to compare and get on the same level as everyone else. It is common in our society, yet very unhealthy.
Self-acceptance and self-love are all about knowing that you specifically have something to offer. So think about all the little things that are unique about you and what you really like about yourself and write them all down.
Most importantly I encourage you to remember that you are not alone who is struggling with self-acceptance and self-love. Life is complicated and we are all the same – we all doubt ourselves. We all suffer from a lack of self-love. You are definitely not unique in this. That is why working on self-improvement and self-growth is a lifetime practice. Remember, in order to better your life and experience more self-love and self-acceptance, you need to practice daily (weekly) for the rest of your life. But first, I encourage you to start with 5 steps above and embark on a journey to self-acceptance and self-love today.